6 Toxic Behaviors From 2020 To Free Myself From

Phew! 2020 is officially over. It was a year of dread, stress, and a lot of unhealthy habits. As we begin a new year, I thought I would kick off 2021 with a list of toxic behaviors from 2020 that I want to leave behind. Here’s to thriving, coping in healthier ways, and creating optimism in life again! Let’s start the farewell party:

Time to Say Goodbye To

• Self-patronizing: Last year, toxic thoughts constantly filled my mind. I dwelled on my imperfections, my exhausting schedule, and a whole lot of negativity.

For this year, I want to be gentle with myself. I hope to find new and healthy ways to cope with negative thoughts that pop up. And I’d like to work harder at combatting my ‘all or nothing’ mindset. Goodbye self-patronizing behavior! I won’t miss you.

• Not Taking Enough Breaks From Work: With the constant fear of Covid, I thought that there was no point in taking time off. So I worked and worked until I burnt myself out mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I don’t want to wake up everyday completely exhausted before I even get a chance to start the day. So for 2021, I’d like to pace myself a little better, listen to my body, and leave this behavior in 2020!

Read my Writer’s Retreat post, which details how I regained mental clarity.

• Dwelling on What I Cannot Control: Okay, this is a hard one because I tend to be a calculated and organized person. So when things don’t work out, I spend a lot of time analyzing my mistakes.

For instance, when my goal to move out didn’t work out last year, I spent too much time dwelling on the plans falling through. I concentrated more on what I couldn’t control vs. what I could control.

Moving forward, I want to continue to acknowledge my frustrations, but also take a breath and then go from there.

• Making Assumptions: Last year, I wrote a piece about making assumptions, which is based on my toxic behavior. I definitely want to leave this habit behind in 2020.

You know the feeling of not being heard? I sure do and I don’t want anyone else to feel that way. That’s why I started to work on listening to my partner better and attempting to comprehend his point of view. This year I would like to build up my listening skills. See those assumptions right out the door!

• Being Hard on Myself: In a way, this bullet point goes hand in hand with my self-patronizing behavior. I have always pushed myself and while I’m proud of being disciplined and working hard, sometimes being hard on myself has translated to self-resentment for not completing my goals.

I’m tired of hating on myself for not getting something done in the timeframe that I intended to do so. Not only is this mentally unhealthy, but this behavior can easily fall into a cycle.

In 2021, I’d like to work on accepting that things don’t always go according to plan. Time to appreciate myself for what I can get done. Because what I’m doing now is enough!

• Over-Complaining: I was exhausted with everything: my routine life, constant bad news, not taking breaks, balancing school and the blog… Need I go on? Well, as a result I complained… a lot.

While I’m a firm believer in acknowledging feelings, I started making every chore a big deal. (Yes, we’re talking about long and dramatic sighs.)

One day, I was being extra salty about doing the laundry and I finally had it. It sucks being mad all the time! So I tried switching to a positive and self-affirming perspective.

I thought to myself: Yeah, doing laundry is annoying, but I’m a badass for working a full day and doing laundry. Look at this superwoman!

It felt good to compliment my efforts. So as I move into the new year, I would like to keep the positive vibes going through affirmations, while still acknowledging any negative feelings I may have and ultimately, letting them go.

Striving For Better in 2021

That’s my list of toxic behaviors to leave behind in 2020. I know that just because we hit reset in the calendar doesn’t mean every behavior will change magically. It’ll take some work, but it’s work that I’m willing to put in for a healthier and happier existence. Let’s all strive for better self-awareness and self-care.

How about you? What negative behaviors/toxic habits do you want to leave in 2020? Feel free to leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading and as always…

Good luck on your journey,

Harumi