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How Transforming My Hair Shaped My Identity

I always felt that hair was a big part of my identity. It has the power to alter your entire look and boost or lower your self-esteem. I’ll admit that I was stuck in the subtle emo-inspired bangs covering one eye like a curtain sweeping look from middle school through high school. But you know what? It was time for a change. This is how transforming my hair shaped my identity:

College was my time to bloom. I didn’t make any drastic changes right away. Instead, I took baby steps. I cut my shoulder-length hair to a bowl cut.

transforming hair shaped identity

I wore that for a few months and finally made the leap to the edgy hair of my dreams. The hell with it, I was ready to shave it off. This is when the true transformation took place. As soon as I heard the buzz from the clippers, I was overwhelmed with joy.

buzzcut: transforming hair shaped identity

The Deeper Side of My Transformation

Embracing my masculine traits

I was always a tomboy, at least in terms of my style and my interests. But somewhere along my path, I became ashamed of my masculine characteristics. From peer pressure to beauty standards, I desperately wanted to blend in with the common characteristics associated with the female appearance.

When I shaved my hair, I challenged all of my superficial fears and in turn, was able to let them go. I was finally proud to embrace my masculine side!

Symbolism of cutting my hair

I began viewing my long hair as a part of my past identity, a piece of me that no longer represented who I was in the present. In a literal sense, I was cutting off all of the negative issues and notions from my past. Therefore, freeing me.

Taking back control

Allowing the comments of others to control how I looked became a constant ripple in my life. By shaving my hair, I took the power back. Yes, I received unflattering comments about my new look, but I didn’t let it get me down for long because I was proud that I took the leap. I looked and felt damn good. And that’s all that mattered.

Freedom to express

The hardest part was over. Now, I could experiment and get creative. Every time I got a new cut, the shape was slightly different, a new color was added. My hair became a mode of self-expression.

Short hair up: Transforming hair shaped identity
Purple hair: Transforming hair shaped identity

From embracing my masculine traits to finally feeling free enough to express who I was, this is how transforming my hair shaped my identity. From this experience alone, I discovered how much hair has had an influence on my confidence, identity, and mental strength.

I could say that I wished that I did it sooner, but in all seriousness, I think that my hair transformation came at just the right time in my life.

If you’re thinking about changing your hairstyle, but you find yourself holding off, take some time to consider it. If the thought remains, it’s probably something that you deeply want. Take those baby steps and see where it leads you.

Good luck on your journey,

Harumi

15 thoughts on “How Transforming My Hair Shaped My Identity”

  1. Love the hair – you look great! My hair is a pain in the ass, but I love coloring it and such according to moods. I’m thinking of playing with wigs so that I can have more fun with it! Hair is just one of those great ways to express yourself, particularly since it’s right there in the open!

      1. As one of the few who were there when you had first started talking about how you wanted your hair to be short, I am so glad that you did. I remember when you first showed me and said, “Oh my god, you finally did it!” I was genuinely so proud of you to take that plunge because you’re right, when you got that first haircut, you started to become unapologetic with who you are. You never cease to be such an inspiration Haru, great read. Keep it up!

  2. Great story. You know I was always in your corner and encouraged you to go wild.
    Freedom of expression is important.

  3. I was similar! I cut mine off before I started uni and it kept getting slightly different variations and I had coloured hair for a while too and now the lock down has given me the chance to try growing it out and trying a different style I’ve always wanted to try but was never sure I could (coz I was always an emo fringe haver too lol) so I relate to this a lot !! Glad you feel free to do what you want 🙂

  4. Short hair TOTALLY suits you! Thanks for an honest, insightful post!

    (Disclaimer: I might be biased as I, also [in spite of photographic evidence to the contrary] am rocking the deathhawk!)

    <3 <3

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