After almost a year of balancing school, working full-time, and blogging, I hit a wall. I was constantly exhausted, testing my limits, and deteriorating my mental health. Last year, I published a post on burnout, where I came to the conclusion that I needed to take more vacations. It wasn’t long after this conclusion when I realized that I didn’t just need a vacation, I needed to make major changes in my life. I was running myself into the ground and I grew tired of it. Was I taking care of myself? Was I hustling so hard that I neglected my health? It was time for me to learn how to break my toxic hustle cycle and start taking action for a better life.
Hustle Culture: My Toxic Cycle
Every “positive” blog post and social media account was telling me to hustle to achieve my dreams i.e. become a freelance writer. I couldn’t help, but feel like I was losing the rat race. Why was it that all of these inspirational entrepreneurs could balance working two jobs, manage multiple businesses, and still be sane? What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I do that?
Simple answer: I wasn’t built that way and learning self-care helped me recognize that I didn’t want to be a workaholic.
As I started breaking into the freelance writing industry, the desire to be my own boss, set my own hours, and do something that I loved everyday, became my new goal. On top of starting my freelance writing business, I wasn’t ready to quit my day job and had zero plans of dropping out of my post-bacc program. So, where did that leave me? How was I going to break my toxic hustle cycle?
I created a plan with some help.
Breaking the Toxic Cycle By Taking Action
One evening while chatting with my partner about everything I had to juggle, I asked him, “Would you ever want to switch places with me?” And he said, “Hell no. You do way too much!” It’s true. I was doing too much, even though I justified that I was doing this all for me. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was overloading myself. My choices were leading me to wake up everyday exhausted. I had to take action before I ended up regretting it.
What should I do? I knew that I was completely worn out, but I didn’t know how to fix the problem. I thought, well maybe I can take some vacation time here and there. That’ll put a band aide on it. Nope, the issue was far greater.
So, my partner retrieved one of my journals and wrote down a list of my priorities. He asked me to put stars on the priorities that held the greatest importance to me. *Actually, I double-starred some, but hey they’re important. So why not?*
After reviewing the list, it was clear what my true goals were. It was time for me to take a leap and focus on writing and school more. As for my day job, I still desired some type of financial security, so I decided to reduce my hours to part-time. I can genuinely say that I made the right choice!
Did I finally Break A Vicious Cycle?
I would say, I did! I’m learning every day how to balance my responsibilities and organize my time. It’s definitely not easy and takes a whole lot of discipline, but ultimately I know that I did the right thing for me. When it comes to hustle culture, having multiple ambitions, and taking action towards my goals, I think I’m on the right track. I’m still learning how to be gentle with myself and give myself breaks. But hey, that’s part of the journey right?
How about you? Have you ever broken out of an unhealthy cycle? If so, leave a comment below!
Good luck on your journey,
Harumi
This post came at the right time for me. I have the tendency to work myself to the bone when it comes to blogging & I too felt like I needed a vacation. But even so, I still decided to still have a blog post go up even though I’m on “vacation” at the beach. I just love blogging and can’t seem to how to step away. This gave me some great insight on the matter. Thank you.
It can be really tough to find that balance, especially when you love blogging so much! For me, starting my freelance business has been everything that I’ve always wanted. At the same time, it’s very exhausting because of my tendency to work myself to the bone. It’s a balancing act and I guess it’s something we need to work on everyday! Thanks for the comment!
This is such an amazing post Harumi!! The hustle culture is so damn toxic. I really hate the rat race society! I’m so glad that you are learning to balance and do more self-care! To me self-care is so important and I put aside from every night to do that even though I have hundreds of things to do!
Thank you for the lovely comment, Diana. I read something recently that really resonated with me. “There will never be enough time in the day to get everything done.” It’s so true and if we live based on that concept, then there’s no reason why we should be disappointed in ourselves. On the topic of self-care, we all need to recharge. That’s what makes us most productive!
I love seeing your growth, setting priorities and looking for new challenges.
Namaste
Thank you Bob! It’s nice putting my passions and me first. Hope you’re doing well!
Seeing you find the right balance for yourself made me think that I need to do more of the things that used to bring joy to my life. I stopped doing my pastels and jewelry making and have become unhappy with who I am now. The question is, how do I spark my interest in these hobbies again. I have started back to a weekly fitness class which is motivating me but now to bring my hobbies back into the picture. Not sure how I am going to do that. Any suggestions?
Well, if you’re still interested in creating pastels and jewelry making, then I would recommend slowly integrating it back into your day-to-day schedule. Don’t put any pressure on yourself. For instance, you could start off doing jewelry making for 5 mins a day and go from there. Rather than jumping full force into it and overwhelming yourself, this is an opportunity for you to get a taste for the hobby again and see if it still fulfills you.
Harumi, I read every single word of this post, which is typically a challenge for me because I lose focus. You had me completely hooked because I found this to be way too relatable. The first bit struck me since whenever life gets tough, I dream about getting far away and taking some sort of an extended vacation. I have never done that; I do not have the money or the time for that. Nevertheless, you helped me realize even if I could do that, it would not solve my problems. You cannot run away from your life, you have to make life changes like you said and did.
I also have become a victim of the hustle culture. I dream of being my own boss and making it big with my blog, yet I am in the same boat as you are. I am not financially secure enough to abandon my daily life to pursue this so I am stuck trying to balance both. It is rough. I admire the progress you have made so far. I truly have no clue how some of these people online manage to make it look like they balance it all. You made a wise decision when you started prioritizing self-care more. Figuring out how to break the cycle feels impossible. I am thrilled you took the leap and reduced your hours at your regular job. You are right, being a workaholic is no way to live and if you had continued, you probably would have hit a major breaking point. We all can only do so much. Keep ensuring that you prioritize yourself. Your dreams will happen. Thanks for sharing this!
First of all, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. I feel like a lot of people can relate to the hustle culture and finding alternate ways to take that leap in the direction of their dreams. Like you said, we could all use a vacation, but once the vacation ends, we go back to the reality of our lives. And if we hate the reality of our lives, maybe that means that we need to make that change. Also, the thing about change is that it’s uncomfortable and scary. That can make any form of transition difficult. I say, make choices that will get you to where you need to be.
Much love!
Loved this post, Harumi! I can relate to this but with people. I found that with family especially, I would drop anything for them and it was so toxic! I now have set really good boundaries and priorities and feel so much better! I love that your partner has helped you with this too! Strong support is so important. Happy to see YOU happy 🙂 xx
Lynn | https://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com
Thank you so much for the lovely comment, Lynn. I’m very fortunate to have a partner, who supports my writing journey. Cheers to doing things that make us happy!
First off all I’m so glad that you found your worth and brought yourself out and found the right direction. Secondly, I have to agree that dealing with such social norms are not that easy to be what action we are or want to be, it’s a tough deal altogether. Taking a stand for ourselves is the best and courageous thing to do and the hard work which you’ve put to show up yourself and make it a right way without any regrets it’s truly commendable. I’m always a fan of people like you who take a dare to opt something like this. I must say this is truly an inspiring post for many one out there who still can’t break the toxic cycle of such obstacles. Thank you so much for sharing this Harumi!
Thank you for your kind words, Biren! It’s taken me a long time to get to this point. I let fear and anxiety keep me in a lifestyle that wasn’t healthy or serving me. It took strength and support from the people that I love to reach this point.
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