Learning How To Be Present and Enjoy Existing

Anyone who knows me is aware that I am a busy body. I thrive on productivity, getting stuff done, and crossing things off my to-do list. While being productive is considered an admirable trait, I’ve noticed a few negative side effects to it. For instance, on the days I set aside for relaxing, I get anxiety from not doing anything. I’ve also had a tendency to compare myself to others and doubt my self-worth. All of this is a result of being productive or not feeling like I’m being productive enough. A couple of weeks ago, I came across a video that changed my mindset completely. It inspired me to be more present and enjoy the simple pleasures that come with existing. This week, I’m going to talk about productivity, the toxic aspects of certain social constructs, and how I’m learning how to be present and enjoy my existence.

Equating Success With Self-Worth

I feel like we’ve all been conditioned to equate success with working hard. Isn’t that what hustle culture is all about? Work your ass off and you’ll achieve your life’s dreams… I think working hard is great. I also think that if you have the opportunity to reach your goals, that’s awesome! What’s not so great is the obsession we have with success.

To a lot of people, success means getting their ideal job, getting a raise, buying that dream house… But then what happens when those things don’t work out? The negative mindset settles in. We start to see ourselves as failures in these aspects of our lives. And even further, we equate our success with our self-worth. It’s damaging and detrimental to our health. I know this from personal experience. Whether it was school or work, I pushed myself to my limits. And if I fell short, I viewed myself as worthless and a failure.

So I’ve wondered to myself: What is success to me? How can I be successful without damaging my mind in the process? What does a healthy balance look like to me? This balance will look different for everyone, but I think the most important concept is to do what’s best for you. Not what’s best according to what society says or paints success as.

Being Stuck in a Productive Mindset

I love being productive and I love getting things done. But one major concern of mine is my obsession with productivity and success. I have always had a tendency to work hard, even to the extent of putting my health on the back burner. When I was in college, I was constantly sleep-deprived because I was studying all night long. I didn’t care about getting enough sleep or eating regular meals. My intensive desire to be productive led me to be unhappy and unsatisfied with my life.

Even beyond college, I tried to maximize my time by always doing something. Sure, I was finally exercising and eating meals regularly. I even started getting more sleep at night. But my need to be productive hadn’t changed very much and that led me to major burnout with work and an endless toxic cycle. As I said in a recent post, it was time to break the cycle and do what was best for me.

Breaking Out of Social Constructs

In a video entitled, “Why you don’t need a ~purpose~ or a dream job,” YouTuber, Sarah Hawkinson, talks about getting rid of social constructs, such as “laziness” and “productivity” because they are harmful. She also states that it’s okay to just exist and allow yourself to do nothing to “breed creativity.” After listening to her video, I took a lot of time to reflect. When was the last time I allowed myself to just exist? When was the last time I was bored? And I wondered how I would feel if I gave myself the opportunity to simply be present.

I use social constructs all the time and have gone as far as to call myself lazy for even thinking about taking time off. I’ve finally come to realize how ridiculous it is to hurl these insults at myself. It’s okay to take a rest when you’re tired. It’s okay to relax when you’re not tired. Although I’ve used the term productive plenty of times before and will probably continue to use it, I think I’m going to work on removing laziness from my vocabulary.

Why? Because I no longer associate resting and enjoying life with laziness. We should be allowed to just be without the fear of other people or society judging us. We are not meant to fit into a tiny box with a bow. So why are we trying so hard to stick to this mold?

For me, I think the answer to this question is simple. I’ve been guided down a familiar path, one that has been recommended to me since I was a child. I went with the flow and now I’m learning that it’s okay not to.

Applying a “Being Present” Mindset to My Life

I wanted some kind of change and for me, change starts with mindset. Rather than be stuck on my future, I decided that I wanted to practice being present. I wanted to take time with my readings and listen to music without putting pressure on myself to do busywork. When I think back to a time when I was present, I go all the way back to my childhood. How I used to swim for hours with my friends and enjoy rice snacks in the sun. Or go on sleepovers and stay up all night, telling scary stories, and watching movies from the 80s. If a life of bliss and being present existed for me before, I knew that I could apply it to my life again.

Practicing Being Present and Existing

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get things done and to always be making some form of income. But what if we took time for ourselves to enjoy simple things like eating a snack, watching a favorite show, or taking a walk? What if we simply existed and knew that was enough? Would life be better or more satisfying? I think so. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I enjoy being productive. But no so much to the point of being a workaholic. So my goal moving forward is to practice being present and existing. If that means taking time for myself, that’s okay.

It’ll take time for me to break out of this mold that I’ve gotten used to. But for my mental health and the hope of a happier lifestyle, I’m willing to try something new.

What about you? What are your thoughts on productivity and relaxing?

I would love to hear from you in the comment section below!

Good luck on your journey,

Harumi