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6 Toxic Behaviors From 2020 To Free Myself From

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Phew! 2020 is officially over. It was a year of dread, stress, and a lot of unhealthy habits. As we begin a new year, I thought I would kick off 2021 with a list of toxic behaviors from 2020 that I want to leave behind. Here’s to thriving, coping in healthier ways, and creating optimism in life again! Let’s start the farewell party:

Time to Say Goodbye To

  • Self-patronizing: Last year, toxic thoughts constantly filled my mind. I dwelled on my imperfections, my exhausting schedule, and a whole lot of negativity.

For this year, I want to be gentle with myself. I hope to find new and healthy ways to cope with negative thoughts that pop up. And I’d like to work harder at combatting my ‘all or nothing’ mindset. Goodbye self-patronizing behavior! I won’t miss you.

  • Not Taking Enough Breaks From Work: With the constant fear of Covid, I thought that there was no point in taking time off. So I worked and worked until I burnt myself out mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I don’t want to wake up everyday completely exhausted before I even get a chance to start the day. So for 2021, I’d like to pace myself a little better, listen to my body, and leave this behavior in 2020!

Read my Writer’s Retreat post, which details how I regained mental clarity.

Toxic behaviors 2020 to writer's reflection
  • Dwelling on What I Cannot Control: Okay, this is a hard one because I tend to be a calculated and organized person. So when things don’t work out, I spend a lot of time analyzing my mistakes.

For instance, when my goal to move out didn’t work out last year, I spent too much time dwelling on the plans falling through. I concentrated more on what I couldn’t control vs. what I could control.

Moving forward, I want to continue to acknowledge my frustrations, but also take a breath and then go from there.

  • Making Assumptions: Last year, I wrote a piece about making assumptions, which is based on my toxic behavior. I definitely want to leave this habit behind in 2020.

You know the feeling of not being heard? I sure do and I don’t want anyone else to feel that way. That’s why I started to work on listening to my partner better and attempting to comprehend his point of view. This year I would like to build up my listening skills. See those assumptions right out the door!

2020 listening skills
  • Being Hard on Myself: In a way, this bullet point goes hand in hand with my self-patronizing behavior. I have always pushed myself and while I’m proud of being disciplined and working hard, sometimes being hard on myself has translated to self-resentment for not completing my goals.

I’m tired of hating on myself for not getting something done in the timeframe that I intended to do so. Not only is this mentally unhealthy, but this behavior can easily fall into a cycle.

In 2021, I’d like to work on accepting that things don’t always go according to plan. Time to appreciate myself for what I can get done. Because what I’m doing now is enough!

Mental Health stickers: Goodbye to negative behaviors 2020
Stickers now available at my shop!
  • Over-Complaining: I was exhausted with everything: my routine life, constant bad news, not taking breaks, balancing school and the blog… Need I go on? Well, as a result I complained… a lot.

While I’m a firm believer in acknowledging feelings, I started making every chore a big deal. (Yes, we’re talking about long and dramatic sighs.)

One day, I was being extra salty about doing the laundry and I finally had it. It sucks being mad all the time! So I tried switching to a positive and self-affirming perspective.

I thought to myself: Yeah, doing laundry is annoying, but I’m a badass for working a full day and doing laundry. Look at this superwoman!

It felt good to compliment my efforts. So as I move into the new year, I would like to keep the positive vibes going through affirmations, while still acknowledging any negative feelings I may have and ultimately, letting them go.

Striving For Better in 2021

That’s my list of toxic behaviors to leave behind in 2020. I know that just because we hit reset in the calendar doesn’t mean every behavior will change magically. It’ll take some work, but it’s work that I’m willing to put in for a healthier and happier existence. Let’s all strive for better self-awareness and self-care.

How about you? What negative behaviors/toxic habits do you want to leave in 2020? Feel free to leave a comment below.

Thank you for reading and as always…

Good luck on your journey,

Harumi

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36 thoughts on “6 Toxic Behaviors From 2020 To Free Myself From”

  1. Love the honesty here and it got me thinking about my own toxic traits that I need to leave behind. One that popped into my head was the negative self-talk I’ve fallen back into so I’m going to work on fixing this!

    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Hi Harumi, I’m glad you shared your post with me on Twitter because it was exactly what I needed to read. I share your sentiments of the baggage of 2020 and not letting it weigh me down in 2021. Count me in as a regular subscriber and visitor!

    -Seth

  3. Exactly, I love this! Such a wholesome and personal post! May we all complain less about what we can’t control and say good things about ourselves. During this time we need to be strong but healthy and we can do that by taking breaks and patience. Thank you so much for this! Really enjoyed it.

    http://www.lifebeginsattwenty.com

  4. Good luck ridding yourself of these behaviors! I have full faith you’ll be able to do so, and I hope you remember to be gentle with yourself on the days when you may slip back into them a little. None of us are perfect, after all 😛 Dwelling on what one can’t control is definitely one trait I need to work on snapping out of myself.

    L || https://lauraorvokki.com/en

    1. Yeah, I’m going to try to be gentle, especially when I fall back. It’s a journey and definitely will take time to change old habits! Thank you for the lovely comment.

  5. Great points – I can resonate with each one. Totally there with you on over-complaining or just being really impatient…2020 really taught me about just living day by day, taking things as they come, and doing what I can in the current moment. Not worrying about the future or things that I have absolutely no control over and really helped me feel so much calmer.

    Hayley || hayleyxmartin

    1. Thank you for the thoughtful comment! I have a tendency to be extremely future-oriented, so definitely working on living in the present. I’m glad that focusing on the now has made you feel calmer!

    1. Exactly! You took the words right out of my head. Lately, I’ve been especially working on taking breaks as I constantly fall into that workaholic mentality. Thanks for the lovely comment!

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